Last week, something momentous happened. At least something momentous for someone who has written a book. To everyone else, probably not so much.
The momentous event in question is that I received my 100th rating on Goodreads. As I have probably explained before, Goodreads is a combination of Expedia and Facebook for readers. It is a big deal. And to get 100 ratings is pretty awesome. What makes it even more awesome is that the average rating for The Reluctant Blogger continues to hold steady at 4.19. Ratings are on a 1 to 5 star basis and over the course of the 102 ratings it has received thus far, the 4.19 average indicates that a very large majority of readers believe The Reluctant Blogger is either a four- or a five-star book.
So yes, the whole point of this post is for me to wallow in self-congratulation.
Okay, not really, but maybe a little. Anyway, along with the 100+ ratings my book has received, I also recently passed the 100 post milestone for this blog. (This post will be my 108th.) Supposedly when a blogger hits 100 posts, they are supposed to do a list of 100 something or other that I can’t remember nor care enough about to go research. So instead, I have decided to embark on my own multi-part blog post made up of the 100 things that I believe defy logic, are inexplicably ridiculous and/or leave me speechless with shock. (So speechless, in fact, that I will now devote multiple posts of over 1000 words each to just how speechless they leave me.)
So, without further ado, I celebrate my 100th blog post (actually completed two months or so ago) and my 100th rating on Goodreads by presenting my list of the top 100 things that make me say, WHAT?!?!?!??!
100. The Belief That Greeting Every Customer As They Walk Through The Door Is A Good Idea.
Every time I go to my local Subway, as I walk through the door to take my place in line behind anywhere from 5 to 10 people also seeking a refreshing sandwich, I am greeted by at least one employee (on occasion it has actually been more than one) yelling at me, “Welcome to Subway!” Now this isn’t a greeting that makes me feel special. It’s a greeting yelled by a worker who doesn’t even bother looking up to see if I’m there to rob them at gunpoint or not. It is spoken in a way that says, I hate doing this, but I will completely get fired if I don’t. What makes this horribly unsuccessful attempt at good customer service so egregious is the position it puts me, the customer, in. Do I yell back? No, that would just be really weird. Do I ignore the bellowed greeting? That kinda seems rude. So what do I, and most people placed in this awkward position do? I mumble some kind of thank you that I hope no one actually hears, especially my fellow customers, who in that moment I am certain handled this social disaster much better than I. To make this whole thing worse, I walked into Walgreens this morning and they apparently have adopted this practice as well. I was halfway down an aisle, twenty feet away from the nearest cashier, who then proceeded to scream across the store, “WELCOME TO WALGREENS!” I wanted to turn and glare at them and possibly extend my middle finger. I didn’t because I don’t actually believe extending the middle finger is ever a good idea when not done on the golf course within the confines of a very select group of friends. But needless to say, I was not impressed. So I suggest this. Ditch this idea, Walgreens, before you traumatize some poor soul walking through your door who is there to fill their prescription for anxiety medication. It will just be better for everyone if you do.
99. That Someone Thought This Title Was A Great Idea For A Comic Book Style Information Guide For Children (My Son Is 9 And He Received It) Who Are About To Get Their Tonsils and Adenoids Removed.
98. That Someone With the Talent Level and Intelligence of Jason Aldean is More Financially Successful Than I Am.
97. That Someone With the Talent Level and Intelligence of Kathy Griffin is More Financially Successful Than I Am.
I realize this could go on all day so we will stop here.
96. That Disney Thinks People Will Pay Gobs More Money To Have Their Family Locked Into A Schedule While Visiting The Happiest Place On Earth.
For those who are not aware, Disney World has just rolled out their latest technological marvel to less than stellar reviews. The marvel of which I speak is a bracelet that can be purchased (for big bucks) that allows a family to pay for everything they want with a wave of the wrist and is preset (based on the schedule created by the family prior to their arrival) with a slew of Fastpasses all set to go so that the family will not ever have to wait in a stand-by line for a ride or not get priority seating for a show. The only drawback? You must stick rigidly to a schedule.
In my mind, the whole point of a vacation is to not be held to a schedule. Apparently, I am not alone in my belief. Many park visitors are politely declining Disney’s latest advancement. Maybe somewhere down the road, this idea of perfectly scripted vacations will catch on, but hopefully not in my lifetime. I want no part of it.
95. That My Two Favorite TV Shows of All Time Are Weirdly Looking More and More Plausible.
Okay, Person of Interest seemed completely unbelievable when it came out. The idea that a machine would be built by the government that could be spy on every citizen using the technology that surrounds us was ludicrous…until it wasn’t. But an airliner just flying into nothingness and disappearing? Don’t tell me there was one person who had watched Lost that wasn’t going, WHOAAA!!!!!
94. That Obamacare Could Mean The End of Hobby Lobby.
93. That Not More Has Been Made By Mormons On Both Sides of the Issue Regarding President Uchtdorf Basically Endorsing President Obama’s Immigration Policy.
92. That Syracuse Did Not Take My Bracket Into Account Before Laying An Egg and Destroying My Chances At Winning Any Office Pool Or Family Bracket Challenge.
This also goes for Duke and Creighton. On the flip side, I would like to thank Villanova and Wichita State for being exactly the caliber of team I thought they would be.
91. That I Don’t Own A Sombrero Like This One.
I know this picture has made an appearance before, but I LOVE that hat. It has the ASU pitchfork perfectly included in the stitching pattern. Someday…
So that’s all for today. Look for a much larger chunk of this list in upcoming posts. Or don’t. It might not be worth your time.