Monthly Archives: June 2014

Someone Thought This Was A Good Idea

This week’s entry into my ongoing list of “100 Things That Leave Me Speechless” is a conglomeration of things that make me ask, “Who on earth thought this was a good idea?” So let’s begin.

70. Lifetime’s Newest Reality Series, Born In The Wild Just when we thought reality TV had reached a low that couldn’t be…topped? Bottomed? Whatever. Anyway, just when we were coming to grips with the fact that a show called Naked and Afraid could actually make it onto the airwaves, the Lifetime network has said, “I will see your fuzzed out full-frontal nudity and unfuzzed backsides and raise you…everything we’ve got.” Premiering in the near future, young couples deciding to forego any medical assistance will have their babies unassisted in the natural surroundings of the wilderness. The show will apparently show fully naked women (certain parts fuzzed out I’m sure) giving birth in the wild’s of nature for…heaven knows what ungodly reason.

My favorite quote associated with this new show comes from Ron Jaekle, MD. “I understand everybody wants to believe we overmedicalize pregnancy and that it’s a natural process. But it’s a natural process that historically has caused an extraordinary loss of life.” Well said, Dr. Jaekle. But what you’re forgetting is that giving birth in a hospital doesn’t allow a person instant notoriety for appearing naked and exploiting their new born baby on television. You really do have to take that into account.

69. We’ll give up five dangerous Taliban members for a deserter, but we can’t do anything for a marine still in good standing in Mexico – Hmmm

68. To punish a rich idiotic white man who owns a basketball team for racially insensitive comments, the NBA is going to force him to accept a $2 billion payoff to go away. Double Hmmm

67. Elio Motors presents the latest in vehicular technology. It gets 84 mpg and costs only $6,800 – Yes, but you have to be seen driving this:elio car 2elio car 1

elio car 3

66. Bravo network sees Lifetime’s Born In The Wild and raises it by 500 icky points – The Bravo network will soon be unleashing its latest reality offering on viewers, Untying the Knot. The series will follow a new couple each week whose marriage is beyond saving and will then subject viewers to the fun process of divvying up their stuff. My only question is, how depraved do you have to be to want to put this painful episode of your life on television? Oh wait, did I mention that mothers are going to give birth in a stream fully nude while the cameras roll? If this were an actual depravity poker game, I’m not sure which hand would win.

65. University of Utah posts this on YouTube to thank their donors for helping them reach their fundraising goal.

Never been more proud of not being a Ute!!!

64. Birkenstock recently released these shoes starting at a cool $1,000 a pair.

Birkenstocks 1kMy only question is; in 2014, is it fashionable to wear them with socks? I would hate to spend that kind of money and then end up looking stupid.

63. Who convinced women that going topless to protest anything is an effective way to use free speech? – Especially in light of the fact that everybody seems to be doing it now. Here’s a hint to any woman contemplating this approach for bringing attention to a cause that matters to them. Boobies don’t bring attention to causes, they bring attention to boobies. And please, may we get this under control before we have “Bear Your Breasts In Church” day from the OW movement? Oh wait, we kind of already did.

62. With the release of a second video showing Justin Bieber using a…no, the racial slur, can we please get someone to give this kid $2 billion to just go away? – And take Selena Gomez with him?

61. Keeping streets in darkness is a safety issue – My one Ryan Rapier for Town Council entry is this: I would like to point out that the Town of Thatcher has an embarrassingly low amount of street lights. Entire neighborhoods have been built within the town limits that do not contain any public lighting at all. To my view, this leads to a variety of safety issues. Pedestrian safety, driver safety, and an environment that fosters criminal activity. My one and only platform in this election is to improve safety and to further enhance the beauty of the town I live in. I believe increasing the number of street lights in our community would be a huge first step.

Campaign commercial now over.

And so is this post.


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